Monthly Archives: July 2013

Summers with Daddy — Carnival Rides

Robbie & Me

One of our last, if not our last summer, with our dad (James Lawless).  I’m not sure where this rickety old ride is but I think maybe the Minnesota State Fair.  You can still find these old warhorses at county fair grounds and little mom-and-pop amusement parks all over the country.  They may not have the scientifically engineered spills and thrills of the giant rollercoasters at Six Flags or Cedar Point or Disney World but, like Coney Island’s famous Cyclone, they have their own special kind of terror: they may fall apart at any minute!  The old herky-jerky movements, loose nuts and bolts and shakey scaffolding seem to have been a part of rides like these since they were new.  There even used to be tiny ones driven around on flatbed trucks that would come to neighborhoods like an ice cream truck bringing little thrills for a quarter.  Our Mother (Georgann Rea) took us to Disneyland once on a trip to Beverly Hills–the Beverly Hills Hotel and its Polo Lounge being more her idea of amusement.  But as wonderful as Disneyland was, its calculated charm couldn’t quite match the grinding gears, sunburned shoulders and sticky days of fairs with our dad.  What are your memories of local amusement parks and fairs?  Let me know in the comments or email me at chanelbonfire@gmail.com.  
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Summertime Goodreads Giveaway!

Happy Monday!  If you have a friend who hasn’t read Chanel Bonfire or if you’ve given away your copy, here’s a chance to get a new autographed hardback edition!  Click on the link below and go to Goodreads.  If you’re not already registered, register and then sign up for the giveaway.  I’ll send the winner their book–anywhere in the world–after the July 24th closing.  If you’re not on Goodreads, you should be; it’s a fantastic site for reviews, discussions and recommendations for every kind of book — a real community of readers.

http://www.goodreads.com/giveaway/show/58782-chanel-bonfire

And remember, if your Book Group is reading Chanel, you can set up a Skype Q & A with me by emailing chanelbonfire@gmail.com!

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Beach Read Book Mobile

Now this gentleman has the Beach Read market cornered.

A book is a vacation all by itself.  It can take you to another world, another time, another life in seconds and let you stay there for hours, days, even weeks.  A book can take you on a vacation from your vacation.  My husband’s family spent a few weeks in the Adironack Mountains of upstate New York every summer when he was a kid.  The cabins were made of logs and had electricity (frequently knocked out by thunderstorms) but no telephone.  There was no television and the radio could only pick up one station from someplace in Vermont.  Entertainment was jigsaw puzzles, boardgames, cards and especially books.  His parents would bring stacks of library books and each of the kids had a reading list as well.  And if you ran out, there was the little Indian Lake town library ten miles or so down the road (when the road wasn’t washed out by those thunderstorms).  It was during one of those storms he read Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein for the first time.  And when the electricity went out, his parents were down the lane at his aunt and uncle’s cabin playing cards and he had to make his way in complete and utter darkness with the book tucked under his arm–too afraid to be alone.  I learned of that darkness first hand years later when I made my first visit to their rented place up there.  It was another storm and I was reading another book you’d never want to read alone–Silence of the Lambs.  I’d been rehearsing for a play and the book (this was before the film) was making the rounds of the cast and it was mine for this short break we’d been given.  Even on a sunny afternoon by the water, the book was terrifying, by candlelight in a thunderstorm, it took me out of the frying pan and into the fire.

I’d love to hear your experiences of fun summer reads.  And if your book group is reading Chanel Bonfire, you could schedule a Skype or FaceTime Q & A and tell me about them in person.  Just email me at chanelbonfire@gmail.com to schedule a time.
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Mothers & Daughters

When I first read Jeannette Walls’ memoir The Glass Castle, I was haunted by the image of her mother sifting through a dumpster because it was my great fear that that was how my mother would end up.  And further, I worried that after everything that had happened between us and our complete estrangement for well over ten years, I would end up taking care of her.  Readers of Chanel Bonfire will probably be shocked but not surprised to hear this: shocked that after everything my mother did to us, I would feel obliged to try and look out for her again, but not surprised that that is how it could turn out.  Roles like ours–mother/daughter, antagonist, protector, jailer, guard, etc. are hard to slough off.

While many readers of Chanel Bonfire enjoy the book for the harrowing stories and comedic moments and the vicarious thrill of another life lived, many others see a version, a shade of their own experience.  Particularly, many women see variations of their own relationships with their mothers.  Some are in the past, their mothers are gone, but they are still trying to reconcile what happened; some are on-going and being made even more complicated by aging and the reversal of roles between daughter and mother; others–those of teen girls like Robbie and I were–are still very much in the thick of it.  

Many readers ask how I found my way and worked out my relationship with my mother–what I did, what I read.  One of the most useful and practical books I found was “When You and Your Mother Can’t Be Friends” by Victoria Secunda.  It is a clear-eyed view of this most complicated of relationships and I highly recommend it.

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Meeting Readers: Talking Moms

At Hotel Bel Air on Monday, July 8th

I had a wonderful time yesterday at Literary Affairs’ Books & Breakfast event at Hotel Bel Air.  Many thanks to Julie Robinson for organizing it, Hotel Bel Air for hosting and especially the big crowd who came out to talk, buy books and have their books autographed!  The last time I went to Bel Air, I was a month away from delivering my daughter (now 14!).  My husband and I left our four year old son with my step-sister and had a last fling.  The staff was attentive, the food marvelous and the atmosphere too romantic for words.  That January night we had the steaming, lit, oval-shaped pool all to ourselves.  This was my first trip back since then and since the terrific renovation.  The hotel may be spruced up and more modern feeling but the charm and attentiveness of the staff has remained as wonderful as ever.

While we spent a lot of time talking about Chanel Bonfire yesterday, we also spent a lot of time talking about my and readers’ difficult relationships with their mothers–many of whom seem like they might give Georgann Rea a run for her money.  As you can imagine, I spent a lot of time over the years learning how to deal with my relationship with my mother–through therapy and books–and I’ve come across a plethora of strategies.  It was a great experience being able to hear others’ stories and swap ideas and book titles with those still trying to work things out.  Thank you all for sharing.

If you can’t make it to a Chanel Bonfire event, I am also Skyping with Book Groups who are reading Chanel.  Just email me at chanelbonfire@gmail.com and we can schedule a time.  

If you are part of big group or association and would like me to come speak about Chanel and the challenges of dealing with difficult, challenging or just plain toxic mothers, click on the Simon & Schuster Speakers Bureau button on the right.  
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Happy Monday!

Floating in the St. Lawrence River near Brockville, Ontario, Canada

I know it’s hard coming back after a long holiday weekend (those of you in the U.S.) but let’s put a smile on and try to enjoy ourselves and the fact that we have jobs.  (As a former actress and writer married to a writer I can tell you that a job is not something that’s always around these parts.)  

If you’re in Los Angeles today, and haven’t figured out what you’re doing for breakfast, I’ll be speaking Literary Affairs’ Books & Breakfast at the Hotel Bel Air starting at 10:30.  It’s too late for a reservation but they are very lovely people and will, I’m sure, accomodate you.  After that, it’s back home to my desk where I’m hard at work on the sequel to Chanel Bonfire (tentatively titled “Untitled Girl”).

I know many book groups suspend meetings for the summer but if yours is still on and you are reading Chanel, I’d be happy to schedule a Skype Q & A with you.  I’ve done them with groups all over the country and all over the world and they’re great fun.  I love meeting readers, hearing about their lives and reactions to the book and answering questions.  Email me at chanelbonfire@gmail.com to schedule.
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Uncle Chuck’s River

Me and Robbie on Uncle Chuck’s River

My father’s hometown, Brockville, where he would take us sometimes in the Summer is on the St. Lawrence River in Ontario just downstream from The Thousand Islands and just north west of New York State.  We called it Uncle Chuck’s River because our Uncle Chuck (my father’s brother-in-law) lived in a house on stilts over the St. Lawrence.  
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Georgann Rea and Betty Draper

The heat in Los Angeles, whether seasonally warm summer heat or dry electrically charged Santa Ana wind heat, makes me think of my mother.  You feel confined by the LA heat–trapped in your air conditioning, behind shades or sheets or blinds; constricted by the air as the yellow sky clamps a lid on the city.  Joan Didion called it “Knife Sharpening Weather” referring to Raymond Chandler’s description of the Santa Anas as a time when normally meek housewives would sharpen their kitchen knives with an eye on the back of their husbands’ necks.   Knives, the threat of violence, out-sized inappropriate responses to external conditions all remind me of my mother, Georgann Rea.  Mother thought harrassing phone calls, baseball bats and getting someone fired were appropriate responses to teenage heartbreak.  It was a mothering instinct like Medea’s — ultimately all about my mother.  I couldn’t help but laugh when I saw Betty Draper for the first time on Mad Men. They were/are both constricted by their time, society, roles but also psychology. Betty shares many of Mother’s qualities, and her actions and reactions–like the shooting of her neighbor’s birds in her nightgown, smoking a cigarette–are straight from Mother’s playbook. I don’t know if Betty will turn out to be completely psychotic but… stranger things have happened.

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Here’s To The Ladies Who Brunch!

Mother’s weekly white wine lunch.  Singer Marian Montgomery in the headscarf next to Mary Broomfield in pale yellow.

I’ll tell you all about it and much more at the Hotel Bel Air on July 8th at 10:30 if you come to Literary Affairs’ Books and Breakfast event.  Click on the link below for tickets.  It will be fun!
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